Yet once again it begs the question of what might have been, had the club got their act together quicker in the transfer market?
Tottenham Hotspur have finally got their act together on the pitch. What could have been if they were allowed to do so sooner?
It is now late September and N’Jie is still to make his first start, which begs the question of why Spurs could have have pushed through sooner a transfer for a player they were linked with signing by The Sunback in June.
Judging from his early season form, and the performances he has helped inspire from his teammates, Tottenham would be better off in the table than they currently stand.
SEE ALSO: Download the brand new HITC Sport Live App: An essential live scores and news companion
Spurs had a frustrating start to the season, failing to win any of their first four Premier League games, and have recently been inspired by new signing Heung-Min Son.
He may have failed to sign a centre-forward, but his additions of Son, and Clinton N’Jie could prove to be masterstrokes.
A win over rivals Arsenal this week, even in the Capital One Cup, will cement the perception that everything is looking rosy again for Mauricio Pochettino’s side.
Buying the South Korean forward from Bayer Leverkusen is already looking like an excellent piece of transfer business, acting as the catalyst for the club’s recent upturn in form.
Tottenham can’t do anything about the transfer window ending when it does, but they can change their behaviour towards it and get their act together before the season starts in future.
Tottenham Hotspur’s season is suddenly looking up, having recorded a third successive victory.
Chairman Daniel Levy has become notorious for waiting until late August and even deadline day to secure deals, rather than getting the club’s important business done by the start of the season.
Would Son have made a different in a narrow defeat at Old Trafford? Would he have helped turn draws against Leicester, Stoke and Everton into wins?
The early impact of Son is testament to the fact they should have brought him in sooner; but only next year will fans learn if chairman Daniel Levy has finally learned his lesson.
Do you think Daniel Levy will do his summer business earlier next season?
Adems del detalle, la grada ms famosa del estadio les recibi con una pancarta de bienvenida que, seguramente, no olvidarn nunca por la emotividad de la situacin.
Varios clubes alemanes llevaron a cabo esta bonita iniciativa durante el pasado fin de semana, invitando a los estadios a refugiados para que, por un momento, olvidaran los malos momentos y disfrutaran del ftbol en directo. En este caso se pudo ver, tambin, en el Signal Iduna Park, donde acudieron 220 refugiados que vivieron en vivo el encuentro del BVB frente al Hertha Berlin (3-1).
El Borussia Dortmund lleva aos demostrando que es un club especial. Y este fin de semana volvieron a tener un detalle a la altura de un club que sigue ganndose el respeto y admiracin en el ftbol europeo.. Una institucin que dedica parte de su tiempo a la gente, a los aficionados, piezas clave del show del ftbol
Currently, the Blues have 22 points in fifth with Liverpool and Arsenal and needs three points to keep up with Newcastle United and Tottenham Hotspur. Wolves, on the other hand, stand 17th on the table thanks to 11 points. The poor performance puts pressure onto manager Andre Villas-Boas to recover by winning against Wolves. As the heat is starting to be turned up on Villas-Boas, the Portuguese coach is facing possibility to be sacked just five months after owner Roman Abramovic spending 13 million on him as Carlo Ancelottis replacement.
29′ [2-0] Daniel Sturridge
In the last 10 matches, the Blues have won 6 and lost 4 and it has not been the good four weeks for Chelsea and manager Andre Villas-Boas. While Chelsea is in desperate need of a win against Wolves at Stamford Bridge to bounce back from losses in Europe and the Premier League, Wolves will need to improve their poor away record this season. I have to motivate them to get a win against Wolves on Saturday and then against Liverpool in the Carling Cup next Tuesday
Wolverhampton Wanderers, who terribly won just one of their last 10 EPL matches, is also the only team yet to score a goal in the opening 15 minutes of a match this season. Getting 22 points after 12 games, this is Chelseas poorest start to a Premier League campaign since 2002/03. I have to motivate them to get a win against Wolves on Saturday and then against Liverpool in the Carling Cup next Tuesday” height=”512″ src=”http://img.ezinemark.com/imagemanager2/files/30004252/2011/11/2011-11-25-10-19-13-3-portuguese-andres-villas-boas-34-has-faced-criti.jpeg” width=”400″ />. Most recently, the Blues has successive 2-1 losses to Liverpool and Bayer Leverkusen which is followed by a damaging 5-3 loss at home to Arsenal. Although Wolves won over Wigan Athletic on 6 November 2011, it suffers a 2-1 loss away at Everton, in match week 12.
44′ [3-0] Juan Mata
7′ [1-0] John Terry
Chelsea vs Arsenal 29th October 2011 Highlights
Chelsea vs Everton October 2011 Highlights
John Obi Mikel was the biggest villain at Stamford Bridge as his error in the midfield gifted Liverpool the leeway to recording a surprise 2-1 over the team
Chelsea vs Liverpool 20/11/2011 Highlights
Chelsea vs Wolves 3-0 Highlights
Chelsea vs Wolves Highlights
Portuguese Andres Villas Boas, 34, has faced criticism for some insipid Chelsea performances, said, Confidence is low but they expect the manager to inspire them. Hence, the three points for Chelsea in their next game would boost Villas-Boas hopes of holding onto his job and create Blues chances of finishing in the top four alongside Man City and Man Utd.
Mick McCarthy, who also feels feeling the pinch of a poor start to the season with his Wanderers side now sitting fourth bottom, decides to change Wolves’ formation and Nenad Milijas might not start even though the Serb played well against Everton
Football fans at Stamford Bridge are set to enjoy the fantastic English Premier League (EPL) clash between Chelsea and Wolverhampton Wanderers when the Blues host Wolves in match week 13, on Saturday, 26 November 2011
Dortmund’s dominance should have resulted in another 4-0 thrashing of one of Germany’s Champions League representatives, but Leno did his best to keep the score down.
The impressive Kagawa was pivotal on the counterattack, making space for the pass and lifting the ball over the Leverkusen defense to put Hofmann in the clear for the first goal. The Brazilian pulled down Matthias Ginter for in the box and Aubameyang dispatched the penalty excellently on 72 minutes. The industrious right-winger carried on his run to chase the bouncing ball, while others paused; his intentional drop of the shoulder enough to deceive Leno before he stroked the ball into the net.
But Dortmund took full advantage of the open spaces, the wing-play of Hofmann decisive to create the second goal. Inside a few yards is where Kagawa is spending most of his time these days as he links midfield and attack in Tuchel’s system.
On the right, Hofmann deputized for Marco Reus to good effect, almost breaking the deadlock on 17 minutes when was thwarted by Leno. He dummied the ball through Wendell’s legs, cutting the ball back where nice interplay between Ilkay Gundogan and Mkhitaryan set up Kagawa who toe-poked the ball into the net.
Jonas Hofmann returned to the side in place of Adnan Januzaj and rewarded his coach with two match-winning moments. Leverkusen finally launched men forward on 37 minutes, the ball worked across to former Dortmund player Kevin Kampl who stung the palms of Roman Brki from the right-corner of the box.
Substitute Januzaj missed an open goal less than a minute later after the draw back from Aubameyang, while Kagawa was denied by some excellent reactions from Leverkusen’s number one keeper, Leno.
At the nerve center of everything positive is the reborn Henrikh Mkhitaryan. Leverkusen sacrificed the experience of Stefan Kieling and the defensive protection of Christoph Kramer in sake of an equalizer.
After a strong first season in Germany, Wendell appears to one of Leverkusen’s weak points at the minute. Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang scored his sixth goal in five leagues from the penalty spot late on.
Roger Schmidt was evidently unsatisfied with the first-half showing and played his two joker cards: the inclusion of Admir Mehmedi and Julian Brandt. First, he composed himself for the opening goal before his skill set the home side clear as Shinji Kagawa notched up his second league goal of the season. Matthias Ginter, discovering a new niche at right-back, drove the ball inside, intended for Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang who carried the defenders away with his run, only for Mkhitaryan to blaze his final shot over the bar.
Leverkusen was perhaps hard done by with some poor refereeing decisions in the second half not to be given a life line but Tuchel’s men remain very impressive in the final-third. But within two minutes after Javier Hernandez had missed a golden chance he put Dortmund in the driving seat with the game’s opener.
The combinations in attack were a joy to behold in the first 30 minutes. The pair are building up to a crucial showdown in Munich on October 4.
Leverkusen didn’t muster a comeback as Benjamin Henrichs made his Bundesliga debut for the club having scored in the UEFA Youth League on Wednesday. Dortmund has won 11 games out of 11 and scored 39 goals in all competitions in 2015/16.. And before too long, it was three going on five or six.
A mix of ferociously fast, incisive attacking football and excellent game management has dispatched every challenge, which has stood before them since the arrival of Thomas Tuchel this summer. But first, the yellow-and-blacks head for Hoffenheim in midweek, while Leverkusen looks to avoid a fourth consecutive defeat in the Bundesliga when Mainz comes calling.
Borussia Dortmund returns to the summit of the Bundesliga after another noteworthy league performance to dispatch Bayer Leverkusen 3-0.
Although Tuchel’s side shine in attack, defensive issues are pertinent from time-to-time. The Armenian cushioned a pass on 13 minutes, striking accurately on target, but into Bernd Leno’s arms. Dortmund are playing with the same gusto and purpose from their two championship winning seasons under the tutelage of Jrgen Klopp.
Updated Sep 20, 2015 at 3:23p ET
Managing three different competitions has yet to prove a burden for either Borussia Dortmund or Bayern Munich and they both end the run with 100% records. Despite having two bites at the cherry, he didn’t show too much conviction in the box
Pippa Middleton broke up with her boyfriend. Between this and Khalifa’s arrest for refusing to get off his hoverboard, he’s been arrested/ticketed for some the dumbest things with the best punchline potential. Kylie didn’t elaborate on why she keeps Tyga’s mug shot, but it was a poignant reminder that these two are the worst couple. Sigh. She shared meaningful family photos: her grandmother Esther, her sisters, and, of course, Tyga’s mug shot from his arrest three years ago. They just couldn’t weather his move to Switzerland. Kylie Jenner Keeps Tyga’s Mug Shot Framed in Her Living Room
Young love can be a confusing and powerful force, especially if you’re the youngest member of the House of Kardashian. Kylie Jenner recently gave a tour of her new home, a modest $2.7 million mansion, showing off the hard labor of her remodel and a weird outfit. [Us Weekly]
Pretty excited about the season premiere of Jane the Virgin. [Just Jared]
Wiz Khalifa was ticketed early Saturday morning in Pittsburgh for public urination. [NYDN]
Kourtney Kardashian and Justin Bieber are just hanging out, enjoying Universal Studios. [Us Weekly]
Will Smith might go on tour with DJ Jazzy Jeff. Have fun. [Us Weekly]
Jamie King was worried people were going to label her a “crazy feminist” for pointing out gender inequality in a very non-confrontational manner. [THR]
She learns to watch the scales of right and wrong behavior, and makes very sure that “right” is always tipped just a bit more in her direction. These are normal, healthy kids, many from middle-class, two-parent families, who have not been found to be emotionally disturbed.
Michael Parker is the program director for psychological services at the Fort Worth Independent School District, which serves eighty thousand students. Kids who are intent on doing the right things in their lives and not giving in to the culture around them. But I do not remember her talking about their hearts.
What was her purpose in addressing their behavior? What was her purpose in effective discipline? No doubt, expecting good behavior is a good and necessary thing in training our children. But Ellen is being raised to think the world is all about her. How can I get him to stay in bed?
Q: I can never have an uninterrupted phone conversation! Every time the phone rings, my daughter makes a fuss or clings to me like glue.
Q: My three-year-old has started to cry whenever she can’t get her way. Rugrats and The Fairly Odd Parents are just a couple of examples that come to mind.
Finding a G rated move with no sexual innuendo or cynicism is increasingly difficult. She had some good ideas, and she boasted that her children were so well-behaved that they were the delight of the church nursery. If we were doing a reality television show we might call it Kids Gone Wild! What’s really amazing is not that children attempt such power grabs. Although there is no official reporting mechanism for acts of violence committed by very young children, he told me that the anecdotal evidence is mountingand showing that behavior problems are rising at a staggering rate. Junior takes the adult seat and starts to throw a tantrum after Mom asks him to move. This little three-year-old is definitely in charge…
Such behavior is so common that it’s become “the new normal.” Every one of us could tell a story like that grandmother’s.
I recently took one of my daughters to her gymnastics class. “It eliminated the meltdowns,” says Ms. In PG, it’s impossible. But before I even get to those things, I’ll need to convince you that we need to be on a rescue mission for our children’s hearts.
A Rescue Mission
Our children are born into a world that is bent on capturing their hearts and minds, and most certainly not for their good. What happened to those kids? Well, all we really know is that something went terribly wrong a long time before they hit high school.
In 2004, the Partnership for Children, a local child-advocacy group in Fort Worth, released the results of a survey of local elementary schools, child-care centers, and pediatricians. When I lived in Virginia, my ten-year-old niece visited me with her dad, my brother. Parents of these kids sometimes just want to give up. But was anyone really surprised?
Teen suicide rates are now the third leading cause of death among fifteen- to twenty-four-year-olds and the fifth leading cause of death among ten- to fourteen-year-olds, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. He talks about parents who eagerly try each new discipline method as it rolls out from the parenting culture’s pipeline. So what? We’ll deal with it, we’ll ignore it, and we’ll get through that phase. As Tripp points out, this is an easy trick to figure out. The math seems a little implausible, but the point is an important one.
Magazine surveys may be notoriously inaccurate, but this one reveals some level of angst over how kids are being raised. Perseverance in reaching and shaping and rescuing the hearts of our children. So these studies and anecdotes describe an increase in problems on the far side of the ledger. youngsters with emotional and behavioral problems has soared in the past two decades.”
These increases cannot be dismissed as being due to changes in medical training and diagnosis, said Dr. And she is used to it, too.
The New Normal
In a 2004 article on WebMD.com, health reporter Dulce Zamora wrote: “When Junior and his mother walk into the doctor’s waiting room, there are two seats available: a big chair for grown-ups and a stool for kids. But, if our focus is primarily manipulating our children’s behavior effectively, it’s possible we’ll only succeed in teaching them that behaving a certain way is nothing more than the ticket to whatever it is they wanted in the first place, even if it’s just the goodwill of Mom and Dad. But what will their hearts, their characters, look like? The little girl in Dallas might grow up to be a normal adult who has a good job, marries, and has children of her own. They are “commonplace and growing,” he told me.
Stephens’s organization conducts seminars and training for teachers across the country, and anecdotal evidence of kids out of control is common in their workshops. I hope this book will encourage them to try to stay engaged.
Nor am I suggesting that the parenting culture thinks such behaviors as those I’ve described in this chapter are a good thing. And yet, not only have rates of happiness not gone up in fifty years, rates of depression have skyrocketed, rising ten times since 1950. From Socrates to the Puritansto my own parents, who opposed my girlhood devotion to singer Rod Stewartwe’ve had laments about how the out-of-control younger generation is always, it seems, worse than ever. But even these problems go back to the parents and how one or both of them areor are notinteracting with their children. But what the parenting culture generally pays lip service to on the one hand, and how it actually encourages us to raise our children on the other, are, sadly, often two very different things.
So, What’s Going On?
Is it perhaps that our culture is more stressed than in previous times? Sure, these things can have an impact. The new normal. Rather, they have remained at the peak rates of 1993.”
The report goes on to note that arrest rates for teens committing violent crimes has begun to climb again.
The Far Side of the Spectrum?
Of course, most of what I’m describing is really the extreme, right? Well, yes. It’s a pebble in a stream and has a huge effect on others in the community, including on how children down my own street may come to view the permanence, or impermanence, of marriage. They may be wonderful, giving, generous people who are devoted to their children. Still shrieking, the child stood up and began hurling books at her terrified classmates, who had to be ushered from the room to safety.”
“Just a bad day at school?” Time asked rhetorically. More than 70 percent of the officers reported an increase in aggressive behavior among elementary schoolchildren in the past five years.In June 2000, the journal Pediatrics released a study of pediatricians with twenty-one thousand patients collectively. We have a responsibility to the little ones in our lives, not just the ones in our own family, to do the right thing. The first is that “rampant individualism causes us to think that our setbacks are of vast importance and thus something to become depressed about.”
Seligman blames the self-esteem craze, too. After all, thankfully, most six-year-old kids don’t beat up their teachers. Betsy Hart, mother of four and nationally syndicated conservative columnist, sees how horribly behaved today’s children and blames the culture of “pushover parenting.” Parents are creating monsters by catering to their children’s every whim and by allowing kids to make important decisions that really fall under parents’ jurisdiction. They whine, nag, throw tantrums, and demand constant attention from their parents….Many kids, even very young ones, treat their parents with contempt, rolling their eyes and speaking rudely….The behavior of these discontented, joyless children is so common these days that many people no longer consider it abnormal. Instead, she began to scream. Eric continued to race around and around. Their stories, whether I know them personally or learn of them through readers of my column, are an incredible encouragement to me and should be an incredible encouragement to all of us. Finally, he slammed into my little Madeleine (who was none the worse for wear, really). These parents are doing an awesome job. Stephens points to the dramatic increase in the number of alternative schools created for disruptive elementary students in just the past ten years. His mother told him no fewer than five times to stop running. I’m not saying there is such a thing as the “perfect teenager” and what, exactly, would that be anyway? But I am talking about kids who openly love and honor their parents, who even think their parents are pretty cool. Such parents and other caring adults don’t get the media play troubled parents or parents of troubled kids do, but they are noble. I am proud to say I know many such young people.
These young people have something in common: parents (or sometimes another loving adult in their lives) who are challenging the culture when it comes to raising their children. Living with these kids may be at best unpleasant, at worst miserableno matter how much we love thembut most will grow up to be some sort of responsible adults. What will these children learn if their parents address only the behavior, and not the heart issue behind it?
Throughout It Takes a Parent, I’ll look at ways that, I hope, are effective in reaching the hearts of our children. The issue is how much power kids wield over their parents. The findings, according to Time: almost all of the thirty-nine schools responding reported that kindergartners today have more emotional and behavioral problems than were seen just five years ago. While waiting for the class to start, several children were chasing one another around a small enclosure, and it seemed certain someone was going to get hurt. But what about the child at gymnastics class ignoring his mother’s instructions? Did you see yourself there? What about the questions parents wrote to the parenting magazine? Are questions like those too often your questions, too?
Some of this happens in all of our homesmine, too. The mother and child returned the earring, and then the mother took the child to a toy store to buy a treat because the child had done the right thing in returning the stolen earring.
A mother decided not to send her child to a school that served only white milk, because her child would drink only chocolate milk.
Here again is why this book is more about parents than kids.
Full disclosure: as I write this book, I find that I’m one of those parents being called to account on my rescue mission. “We’re talking about serious talking back to teachers, profanity, even biting, kicking, and hitting adults, and we’re seeing it in five-year-olds.”
Houston, we have a problem.
The word “Columbine,” the name of the Littleton, Colorado, high school where two boys from upper-middle-class families went on a shooting spree that resulted in thirteen fatalities and the boys’ suicides, sends shivers down our collective spines. Such scenes are becoming epidemic. Griswold paid a lot of pennies. They might become responsible adults. Kids who give of themselves to others, who make a difference, who are examples to their friends. But it’s also true for all of us that being more aware of how we interact with our kids, determining what’s the norm in our home and what’s the exception, is the first step in helping our kids.I hardly think all behavior problems are the result of out-of-control or ineffective parents. Apparently, this incident demolished my niece’s view of me as running a tight ship. Of course they do. In chapter 12, “To Spank or Not to Spank,” I’ll consider discipline methods and how some may be more effective than others at reaching the heart of a child. I want you to sit down now!” Eric’s response? He looked directly at his mom, got up, and started racing around again. But too many of them are like the mom and her parenting coach, who think it’s a great idea to pay off a preschooler just for not throwing a huge fit.
The following is a recent advice column from Parents.com, the website of Parents magazine. A small percentage of children, although healthy, are so extraordinarily strong willed that, despite the parents’ best efforts, the child remains consistently angry and defiant. Hart wonders how these “it’s all about me” children will ever experience true joy, and worried about their hearts. I would love to eradicate pornography from the web, get rid of gratuitous violence in the media and popular music, and restore images of virtue and strong family lives in film and television.
But I can’t do all those things. Certainly many bright lights of the parenting culture would bemoan the very same behaviors and attitudes that I’ve chronicled. But, like most experts, Easterbrook believes that there has been, in fact, a significant increase in depression in the past fifty years.
People who suffer from depression need help, not condemnation. Here’s what her mom has learned: to pay off her daughter to buy peace. Later, she told him how amazed she was to watch Aunt Betsy completely caving in to little Madeleine, giving her something she demanded, just to get Madeleine to stop whining. When both parents in the home around the corner work so many hours that their unhappy child goes to another family’s home for companionship, his problems become that family’s problems, too. That advice cost about $100 an hour.
Think about what this little girl has learned: if she’s typically nasty enough, she’ll get a prize when she doesn’t make others and herself miserable. Martin Seligman, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania and past president of the American Psychological Association. It’s also clear, by the way, that there are many wonderful parents (single and sometimes married) who are doing everything they can to make up for the neglect of the other parent.
That has to have a huge impact for the good.
It Takes a Parentand a Villageto Raise a Child
In one sense, I believe it does take a village to raise a child. In fact, according to the AP report, the highest problem-identification rates were by doctors who trained three decades ago and more. Even children’s cartoons and television shows are filled with kids disdaining one another and their parents. And it is this heart we must try to reachand rescue.
On May 22, 2003, the Wall Street Journal ran this story on its front page: “Need Help with a Cranky Kid? Frazzled Parents Call a Coach.”
When Amy Griswold’s daughter, Ellen, turned three, she began throwing temper tantrums and answering her mother with smart-alecky rejoinders like: “Don’t you talk to me that way!”
What else could the Dallas mom do? She called a coach, of course. Sometimes there are underlying medical or emotional problems, which I’ll discuss later. “It was worth every penny.”
And Mrs. As our children grow older and by choice or necessity we no longer control what they watch or hear, our job is to help them think rightly about the culture, what they absorb, and what they should want to absorb.The authors of the Pediatrics study I referred to earlier partially blamed increases in divorce, single-parent households, and dependence on public assistance for behavior problems. Eric’s mom said, “Eric, you’ve had enough. In the article “Are You a Parent or a Pushover?” in the January 2004 issue of Parents magazine, Kellye Carter Crocker reported on a Parents survey in which most mothers expressed “deep concern over today’s discipline methods.” Eighty-eight percent of these mothers said parents “let children get away with too much,” although only 40 percent thought that problem applied to their own kids. Kelly Kelleher of the University of Pittsburgh and Children’s Hospital, the study’s lead author. He told Time that he’s clearly seeing an increase in aggressive behavior from very young children. The tiaras are just a symptom of a much larger problemone with potentially devastating consequences.
Dr. And this has possibly happened, um, more than once, because I didn’t even remember the particular incident.
I’m not worried that someday Madeleine is going to be a juvenile delinquent because I gave in to her on that occasion (and apparently quite a few others). The questions are: Are we aware of the power struggles our children attempt and are we actively engaged in responding appropriately? Or are their struggles, and our capitulation to them, so common that it’s become the new normal?
What about the heart issue? Is this the first time you’ve thought that it might be possible to get the right behavior but not be rightly training or encouraging the heart of your child?
. But living during the Depression or World War II would have been far more stressful than living in the “rush-rush” 2000s. Ronald Stephens is the director of the National School Safety Center, based in Westlake, California. Particularly for middle-schoolers and high-schoolers, the popular culture can be downright ugly, with depictions of violence and sex everywhere. Another woman, a first-grade teacher for twenty-five years, reported that she literally could not handle some of her current charges because their behavior was so extreme.
A study conducted by the National Association of School Resource Officers (primarily school law enforcement and safety personnel) and released in August 2003 found that more than two-thirds of school police officers believed that younger children were acting more and more aggressively. Robert Shaw is a practicing child psychiatrist in Berkeley, California. He considers how such methods might achieve the right outward behavior, for a time, but not fundamentally change the selfish tendencies of the child’s heart.
One method, for instance, is to put a piece of paper in a jar each time a child does something she’s asked to do and take one out each time she disobeys. The Associated Press summarized things this way: “The number of U.S. Griswold, who spent about $150 on the coach. That’s why there really isn’t such a thing as “privacy” after all.
I would love to magically fix all the negative aspects of our culturebut I can’t. One mom told her three-year-old, Eric, to walk, not run. Should I just ignore her?
You get the pictureand it’s not a pretty one. This truth is not something with which the parenting culture is comfortable.
A principal of a parochial school in an affluent suburb of Chicago wrote to tell me what he sees on a daily basis, and it doesn’t look like parents on a rescue mission for the hearts of their children:
When children receive detention for being tardy, parents often ask to serve in their place, even if it was solely the child’s dawdling that made him late.
Parents of a four-year-old conference-called the child at school about his behavior.
A four-year-old was allowed to choose the school he would attend.
Another four-year-old stole an earring from a department store. For instance, my divorce is not just my business. Something is wrong with this picture.
More Paid-Off KidsMore Depression?
In his powerful book The Progress Paradox, science writer Gregg Easterbrook looks at the fact that in the West, and particularly in the United States, we have ease of life, physical health, leisure time, political freedom, and life spans unimaginable in previous generations. “Told to calm down, she knocked over her desk and crawled under the teacher’s desk, kicking it and dumping out the contents of the drawers. Writer Barbara Carton went on to explain:
After months of working with a coach in person, by phone and online, Ms. We are not islands, and the way we adults lead our lives affects the children all around us. Griswold is a satisfied customer. I couldn’t even wave a magic wand to put my family back together, although I would have loved to. Our duty is to persevere as parents, no matter what discouraging stories we hear, no matter what is going on around us, to persevere with a great hope that if we “train up a child in the way he should go…when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).
You probably breathed a sigh of relief knowing that your child would never kick a teacher. The emphasis on self-esteem has made millions of people think there’s something wrong with them if they don’t feel good about themselves at any given moment, versus a more balanced rational approach: “I don’t feel good about myself right now, but I will later.” The two other causes of depression, according to Seligman, are the “teaching of victimology and helplessness” and runaway consumerism. They are making a difference in their children’s lives and in their community’s life.
I hope this book will encourage them, too.
These parents are perseveringand that’s what the next chapter is about. To curb Ellen’s frequent tantrums when leaving the house, the coach suggested offering dress-up items, such as a tiara, which the preschooler would get to wear after they successfully departed the house. According to the WSJ article, the Parent-Coaching Institute of Bellevue, Washington, for instance, opened its doors in 2000; as of summer 2003, it had graduated six coaches and was training twenty-two more.
What About the Heart?
Sure, these kids might grow up to be okay. And her response? She and another mom looked at each other, shrugged, and giggled.
Whatever the extenuating circumstances might have beenthe mother didn’t want a scene or Eric was wound upone thing is clear: Eric is used to disobeying his mother with impunity. In those periods in our history, many Americans experienced severe deprivation and uncertainty; but there is not the evidence of widespread child behavior problems like those we see today.
It’s also true that American culture has coarsened terribly, and I’m the first to bemoan it. “More like a bad season. Time reported that a first-grader in Fort Worth, Texas, was asked to put a toy away. Some of these are becoming more common, and some are becoming better identified. Then things really began to deteriorate. Out-of-control kids very often come from parents who are not in control. After a specified period, if there are a certain number of slips in the jar, the child gets a prize. But before we collectively breathe easier, we have to admit the scary part: the entire child behavior spectrum has shifted in the wrong direction.
This comment came from a grandmother in Florida who wrote to me in response to a column I’d written on out-of-control kids:
Today I am very much involved in taking care of the children in the church nursery, and there is a little three-year-old girl who will scream and throw tantrums and throw everything in sight if she is not catered to constantly. But what about when the girl demands a car in exchange for not throwing a tantrum? What happens when she comes across someone, someday, who won’t buy her off?
Parent coaches are a growing business. But there is no question that the world seeks to win our children over to its way of thinking and behaving, and the world does not love our children.
More important, we need to see that children must be rescued from themselves. A decade ago, he says, such schools for the very early elementary grades were virtually unknown; today, at least one thousand of the fifteen thousand school districts in America have them. My son always needs one more thinganother story, a glass of water, a different blanket. Forget the answers; it’s the questions from these typically loving, educated, middle-class moms and dads that tell us how kids are being raised today.
Q: When I ask my four-and-a-half-year-old to do something like set the table or clean up his toys, he insists he’s busy or just says “no”! What should I do?
Q: Our three-year-old loves to boss us around. In his bold 2003 book The Epidemic: The Rot of American Culture, Absentee and Permissive Parenting, and the Resultant Plague of Joyless, Selfish Children, he writes this:
Far too many children today are sullen, unfriendly, distant, preoccupied and even unpleasant. One petite teacher was attacked so viciously by a large six-and-a-half-year-old that she left her job for six months. With resignation, she squats on the little seat.”Who sits where isn’t the issue. Twelve-year-olds in affluent Virginia suburbs outside Washington, D.C., were regularly holding sex parties where oral sex was de rigueur, according to the Washington Post. Surely, some of this is due to better reporting and the decreasing stigma attached to depression. It’s human nature to want power, and the nature of the hearts children are born with has not changed since Adam and Eve. These self-reports reveal that the propensity for and actual involvement of youths in serious violence have not declined with arrest rates. After all, most of these kids are not going to grow up to be aberrant, charging into high schools with guns. They might even speak to the need for parents to intervene. Seligman, who himself largely pioneered the academic study of happiness, says there are four main reasons for the rise in depressionrates in the United States. These are caring parents, but they are not portraits of parental courage, which is exactly what their kids need them to be if the children are going to have their hearts shaped for the good.
As perfectly spoiled Veruca so aptly puts it in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (which I’ve watched at least eighty-seven times with my kids, so I know the dialogue by heart), “But I want it now, Daddy!” And every time, Daddy complies with “Veruca dear’s” commands because he doesn’t want to cause her any distress.
This is a father who is poisoning his child’s heart.
The “heart” issue is fundamental to everything I discuss in this book.
I once heard a Christian speaker give a fine talk on effective discipline. More than half of the day-care centers said incidents of rage and anger had increased over the previous three years.
And it isn’t just something in the Texas water.
Dr. The parents of this little girl do cater to her every whim, and they want everyone else to do the same. Instead, the findings suggest that most of the change was due to “an increase in problems and the kinds of patients they’re seeing,” Kelleher said. How they’re being raised has changed. But according to a 2001 report from the Surgeon General of the United States, these rumors are not accurate. We rationalize it, normalize it, and call it a “phase” or a “stage” at each point along the way.
Joyless children. The parents are too often afraid to address the behavior, and even more so the hearts, of their children.
That’s why this book is more about parents than kids.
We could say, Okay, so children today are more badly behaved, more snarly, and more rude. But is the rise in depression symptomatic of larger problems that plague our culture? Yes, says Dr. She also tells you how to get your child back under control.
You can read an excerpt of It Takes a Parent: How the Culture of Pushover Parenting is Hurting Our Kids–and What to Do About It below:
Kids Gone Wild
A 2003 Time magazine article asked the question “Does Kindergarten Need Cops?” Apparently, the answer is yes. But these complaints have traditionally been about the generation coming of ageteenagers and very young adults, not about five- and six-year-olds.
And what about older children and teens? Sadly, we’re no longer shocked to hear of such things as an eight-year-old child in the heart of the MidwestIndianapolis, Indianapointing a gun at a classmate because the other child teased him about his ears. She hasn’t come to see that obeying her parents is a blessing to her and to themshe hasn’t learned to love being a blessing.
In another example from Tripp’s book, two siblings fight over a toy one has taken from the other. Her children, their proper behavior, and her effective discipline were a source of great pride to her. In the fifteen to twenty-four age range, suicide rates have tripled for males since 1950, and doubled for females.
There have been widespread rumors about declines in youth violence. Such things were rife, for instance, in the wildly popular (and yes, quite clever and entertaining) movie Shrek, and graphic in the “kids’” movie Scooby-Doo.
But, as parents, our job is to control what our kids see, not to blame what they see for a lack of our own hands-on attention. The largest changes were in attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), which increased from 1.4 percent to 9.2 percent, and emotional problems such as anxiety and depression, which increased from negligible to 3.6 percent.
In 2003 alone, more than two million prescriptions were written for antidepressants for children, according to the Washington Post. Yes, there’s a matter of justice that needs to be addressed, but the wronged child is still putting his “right” to the toy above his relationship with his sibling. Of course, the “older generation” has been complaining about “kids gone wild” since the beginning of time. But what’s going on in that “it’s all about me” heart of hers? If her parents continue to pay her off to keep her happy, if she grows up learning that her whims will generally be catered to, what will be going on in her heart when she’s a “responsible” adult, if she’s a responsible adult? What kind of marriage will she have? What values will she pass on to her own kids? Will she be able to give, or only to take? I wonder if she will be able to truly find joy.
These aren’t questions that evolve simply because a little girl is given a tiara for not throwing a fit. If I say, “Let’s wear white socks,” she says, “Blue!” If I say, “Let’s brush our teeth,” she says, “No! Pajamas first!” We want her to feel like she has a say, but this is getting ridiculous!
Q: Bedtime has become an exhausting ordeal. I often hear via e mail and letters from great kids, teenagers in particular, who remind me that many terrific kids out there are as appalled at some of the behavior of their peers as I am. The behavior reflects what is going on in the child’s heart. Every parent blows it sometimesor, in my case, a lot of times. I can’t change the externals in the neighborhood or in the popular culture, at least not to my satisfaction. The thing I can do as a parent is to try to think and act rightly when it comes to parenting my own kidsto persevere in what I’m called to doand trust that that will have an impact.
That’s why this book is more about parents than kids.
There’s good news, too. The report states, “This report has looked beyond arrest and other criminal justice records to several national surveys in which high-school-age youths report in confidence on their violent behavior. Yes, I think the world is full of good things, and I don’t think we have to shut the culture out as much as we have to help our kids think rightly about it. Elaborate systems that give kids multiple chances, prolonged discussions about the ‘feelings’ behind bad behavior, negotiations about consequences and so on are often ineffective.”
Yet, such strategies are still the mainstay of the parenting culture.
That’s why this book is more about parents than children. If we end up just helping them to learn to manipulate their world to reach their own selfish endsinstead of helping to train their hearts to delight in goodness because it is delightfulwell then, it’s even possible that we’ve helped shaped those hearts for the worse.
Tedd Tripp discusses this at length in Shepherding a Child’s Heart. (From The Progress Paradox.)
Memo to parents: Wake up!
Meanwhile, maybe, just maybe, even some parenting experts may be starting to think we have a problem. Right?
Well, who knows? But the issue isn’t ultimately the behavior, anyway. As Crocker writes, parents may be “sensing what mounting evidence is starting to reveal: Some of the discipline strategies that have been in vogue in recent years just aren’t working. The child has learned how to manipulate her world.
If she’s at all bright, she’ll quickly figure out that if she saves up enough “good” chits, why, she can indulge in some bad behavior and still come out “ahead.” She hasn’t learned to disdain disobedience at all; she’s just learned how the game works. The desk-dumping incident followed scores of other outrageous acts by some of the youngest Fort Worth students at schools across the district.”
A little one shouting “Shut up, bitch” at a teacher, the biting of another teacher by a kindergartnerso hard it left marksand a six-year-old who became completely hysterical, took off his clothes, and threw them at the school psychologist are among the highlights.
These are not deeply troubled kids from dysfunctional homes, either
Fans who expect to score goals in the FIFA 16 demo can learn the new celebrations by watching this video.
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About Electronic Arts
Electronic Arts (NASDAQ: EA) is a global leader in digital interactive entertainment. Follow us on Twitter @easportsfifa and use the hashtag #FIFA16. EA SPORTS creates connected experiences that ignite the emotion of sports through videogames, including Madden NFL football, EA SPORTS FIFA, NHL hockey, NBA LIVE basketball, Rory McIlroy PGA TOUR golf, SSX and EA SPORTS UFC. More information about EA is available atwww.ea.com/news.
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The easiest way for fans to be the first to play all modes and features in the complete and final version ofFIFA 16is to become a member ofEA Access, only on Xbox One. EA Access members can playFIFA 16startingon September 17for up to 10 hours during the play first trial. Zombies.
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REDWOOD CITY, Calif.–(BUSINESS WIRE)–Electronic Arts Inc. The Super Deluxe edition offers up to 40 FIFA Ultimate Team Jumbo Premium Gold Packs, three FIFA Ultimate Team loan players for five games each, and two brand new celebrations from the EA SPORTS Football Club catalogue. Once finished, they will compete single player or online*** in a single knockout string of four games to achieve rewards. Headquartered in Redwood City, California, EA is recognized for a portfolio of critically acclaimed, high-quality blockbuster brands such as The Sims, Madden NFL, EA SPORTS FIFA, Battlefield, Dragon Age and Plants vs.
. Must be 13+ to create an account. The historic Santiago Bernabeu and two stadiums new to the franchise, BORUSSIA-PARK and CenturyLink Field will feature as official stadiums in the demo.
The demo is our pre-season and a chance for millions of FIFA fans to experience new gameplay features and find new ways to play in FIFA 16, like competing with Womens National Teams and playing FIFA Ultimate Team Draft, said Nick Channon, Senior Producer, EA SPORTS FIFA.
FIFA 16 will be available starting September 22 in North America on Origin on PC, Xbox One, the all-in-one games and entertainment system from Microsoft, Xbox 360 games and entertainment system from Microsoft, PlayStation4 and PlayStation3 computer entertainment systems. Zombies are trademarks of Electronic Arts Inc.
A trailer showcasing the new season of FIFA 16 can be viewed: here.
**The launch of the FIFA 16 Demo varies depending on platform & location.Release date subject to change without notice.
*Not all features available on all gaming platforms.
FIFA 16 innovates across the entire pitch to deliver a balanced, authentic, and beautiful football experience. In this new mode, fans will choose from one of five formations, then a captain, and then go on to fill out the rest of their 23-man squad by selecting a player from a choice of five in each position. Fans playing on Xbox One, PlayStation 4 and PC will get their first look at the new Bundesliga Broadcast Presentation when Borussia Dortmund plays Borussia Mnchengladbach at BORUSSIA-PARK. EA has more than 300 million registered players around the world. Members who decide to buyFIFA 16will carry over their progress and stats from the trial to the game on launch.
EA SPORTS is one of the leading sports entertainment brands in the world, with top-selling videogame franchises, award-winning interactive technology, fan programs and cross-platform digital experiences. PlayStation is a registered trademark of Sony Computer Entertainment Inc.
In fiscal year 2015, EA posted GAAP net revenue of $4.5 billion. (NASDAQ: EA) today announced that the demo for EA SPORTS FIFA 16* is availableto download for PC onOrigin, Xbox One all-in-one games and entertainment system from Microsoft and Xbox 360 videogame and entertainment system, and for the PlayStation4 and PlayStation3 computer entertainment system. Rounding out the demo are FIFA Trainer, a new contextual training system, as well as six new skill games. Please see http://www.easports.com/fifa/buy for details. SEEEA.COM/EAACCESS/TERMSANDEA.COM/EAACCESSFOR DETAILS. Its an early look at some of the new features that will be included in this years game and a great chance for our team to hear what fans think about the game.
In Kick-off, fans can choose from eight club sides (FC Barcelona, Borussia Dortmund, Borussia Mnchengladbach, Chelsea FC, Inter Milan, Manchester City, Paris Saint-Germain, Real Madrid CF, River Plate and Seattle Sounders) or two Womens National Teams (Germany and United States).
FUT Draft, a brand new way for fans to test their team building skills and compete with some of the best football players in the world, is included in the demo